Ethics

Recently, I came across an article about chimeras in the papers. Yes, I read, just in case you’re wondering. It seems that the medical sector is starting to research on chimeras. That is, pretty cool, yet pretty scary. A scene from many movies on ethics and the animation Full Metal Alchemist flashed through my head. You must be wondering what the scene that is so famous is. I’m sure you have seen shows where science experiments on human mutation went wrong. Usually a grotesque monstrosity is created which has the ability to speak and have the same feelings of human beings. Their first words are usually “kill me”. I’ve never really gotten over these shows. While people can watch “Happy tree friends”, desensitized to violence and apathetic to almost everything, these things just stir things I can’t explain in me, and I don’t feel good about it. The question that ran through my head while reading the article was, “Will we end up like this?” Will we have to sacrifice lives for the sake of science? Are animals’ lives less important than ours?

When I was studying literature in secondary school, I came across this line from The Crucible. “Life is god’s most precious gift; no principle, however glorious may justify the taking of it.” I find this very true. However, it’s relevance to our society has been diminished by the debauchery of the sanctity of life. Where people use to love, they now fight and kill. Where people use to show compassion for the suffering, they now stand by the side with apathy. Where people use to smile with sincerity, it is now but a veil which hides their true intentions, the daggers behind their lying eyes. But, when I come to think of it, when have human beings ever led a life without sin? When has any human being ever led a pure, blameless without a single evil thought? Do we suffer from the human condition? Do we try to deny the love of conflict that is inherently in us?

They say the study of literature, is the study of the history of the human condition. They say we study the forces that forge our character and shape our will; the forces that can make or break a man; that we study, the language of the world. I have never denied the existence of powers that only those gifted with clairvoyance can see. People ask why I read people so well; I tell them I study literature. They ask me what literature has to do with it; I tell them that’s why you can’t read people well. People see the material and forget the immaterial. They think with their conscious mind and neglect the subconscious. They believe in what they can see and have never contemplated the enigmatic or the mysterious. They take for granted what is a gift to them. Have you ever imagined what being truly emotionless is like? Where you can kill a person without batting an eyelash? Where life is equivalent to a sack of flour? We walk and we talk because we have the spark of life. Without it, we are just $2.83 worth of chemicals. We take advantage of our life which is so priceless. We only know how to complain, and we do not know how to give thanks for having so much – a life.

Life, so capricious and fickle; it can leave you wishing you were never alive, but when it happens, you find yourself grasping to it like your life depended on it. Pardon the irony. People know too little to be dogmatic. We think we know a lot. “A fool will think himself wise while the truly wise will know himself a fool”. We all have hubristic tendencies. I know I am the zenith of pride and arrogance and many people can’t stand me. Well, I can’t stand myself either. I realize I preach what I don’t practice, and I practice what I don’t preach. I take advantage of life all the time, and hardly think about it. I’m mostly griping about everything and frequently not appreciate the things around me. It’s only when I get quiet times to myself that I get to look inwards and introspect where I find things about myself that I absolutely abhor. When I look at myself, I see the scars of my past, the lines of regret all over my countenance that I can hardly call mine. When I look at myself in the mirror, I don’t see me, I see the visage of a boy who was once innocent. He was once the beacon of childishness and freedom. As the shackles of his mistakes bound him down, his hypocritical shell enveloped him and turned him into the paranoid schizophrenic we now know as “Nick”. With multiple personalities, people see him an enigma. He is the living parable of the 7 sins, and he lives each day regretting what he has become.

However, there is no point in retrospect, unless to learn from previous mistakes. Hitler didn’t learn from Napolean’s mistake. Japan didn’t learn from Mongolia’s mistake. People say we learn from history, but we never do. The conflict between Israel and Palestine has existed since the Crusades. People never learn. I don’t either. I have never learnt that I was not made to have love as a destiny. I have never learnt that I cause pain wherever I go and happiness whenever I go. I make the same mistakes over and over again, causing pain to the very people who care for me. When will I ever be the person I want to be? When will I stop succumbing to the vices of evil? When will I stop taking love for granted? Perhaps I never will, perhaps I’ll always be a false messiah. If that’s the case, I was born dead.

You may feel that I treat myself too harshly, and others may think I don’t treat myself harshly enough. Whatever you guys think, I hope you do not walk the same path I did. Life always gives us a second chance to change. When all hope is lost, life will always provide some. Perhaps this may sound overly optimistic, but I believe that it is the truth. Most of the time, we don’t see the open doors, but stand forever rooted to the closed door in front of us. I have done that for 3 years, and recently, a new door just slammed in my face. I’m just waking up from a dream, and in the noble words of Tyler Durden, “We are very, very pissed.” Contradictory? Wait till you see what’s in my head.