Weakness

Many people have it, but some of them don’t admit that they do. It’s like an inherent plague that spreads throughout the human race. It’s exactly like the plague. It spreads fast, it is spread by rats, it shortens your life considerably and it makes you an ugly person. This “plague” might not make you look like you had a nose job halfway through and the doctor died but it does make your heart the blackest black you have ever seen. Yes, I’m talking human weakness. Most people call it by another name - “The 7 deadly sins”. They are as follows: greed, pride, gluttony, lust, anger, sloth, envy. Curiously, they are the 7 homunculus of Full Metal Alchemist. Why they are named such, I have no idea. Perhaps as opposed to the natural order of things, they are the “anti-Christ” of alchemy. But I digress.

If I were to look at myself, I would say I’m guilty of all of the above sins, and then some. I’m greedy; I want more money. I’m proud; after all, my blog address is hubristic hedonist that should sum many things up. I’m a glutton; I eat so much you wouldn’t even imagine, best of all I don’t grow fat. I know girls would probably hate me for this. Lust; maybe I won’t talk about this. Anger; hmm I don’t really know. I guess I won’t know I actually get angry. Sloth; I sleep 12 hours a day, and if I can I’ll sleep even more. As for envy; one word – Gilbert. That should explain a lot. I’m a pleasure seeker. I hate working and I’ll skimp at every chance I get. However there’s one more sin that I would like to add to that list.

That sin is pettiness. Okay, maybe not a sin, but it’s still a weakness. Pettiness has ruined so many relationships, so many days, many a friendship have fallen prey to pettiness. For a piece of land, people will die just to claim ownership over it. For god’s sake, it’s just a piece of land. People die for religion, people will die for ideologies, people will die for race, people will die for almost everything that can be labeled. Question is, why don’t these people stop dying and actually live for something? Does the human race really love conflict or what? Throughout our entire existence we have been fighting, dying and then some. We kill for pieces of paper, certificates which say who owns who, for that black liquid that drives our world. The question is, what for? Even animals don’t kill their own kind excessively. All our wars, all our conflicts, people die. And they die a lot. Are those the benefits being able to reason have brought us? If that’s the case, I would prefer if we weren’t able to think. At least I won’t fear being killed by one of my own kind for my iPod or my handphone or the pieces of paper (or plastic) in my wallet.

Maybe pettiness in our case is not as drastic as people dying and such. If that’s the case, we live in a very sad and apocalyptic world. Fortunately, we don’t. However, pettiness still does its damage in our small world. Take for example, my 2 friends. Let’s name them X and Y. X wanted to play a particular song during a gig. Y didn’t. Y said that 2 songs are enough. X got pissy and left the band. Y shrugged and left it like that. This event happened 2 years ago. Until now, they aren’t talking to each other. Apathy, pettiness and pride make a deadly combination. Personally, the word “sorry” is totally unknown to me. I never apologize; I never bow my head down to anybody. You know the Da lai lama thing that asks you to rank different kinds of livestock and a tiger? The tiger ranks first for me. I don’t know how accurate the Da lai lama thing is but so far, it’s been quite good at reading me. Well it’s not entirely wrong; I’ve been brought up the elitist way. I’m a perfectionist, an elitist and a racist. My finger tends to waver over the reset button every time something goes wrong. Diablo 2; OMGWTFBBQ DURIEL PWNED ME IN NORMAL. Reset. Maple Story; LOL GAY THORNS COSTS 99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999. Reset. And that’s only games. Unfortunately I can’t do that with my life. I can’t say, wtf gay, depression made me lose 5 points for O levels. Rese…no wait I can’t. Well that’s the perfectionist in me. I don’t think I have to mention the elitist and the racist do I? You guys may say, “Hey a perfectionist is a good thing,” I’m the wrong kind. I give up when I don’t see a point in completing it. I believe that it’s better to restart something that would end up a shit job anyway. Too bad I can’t reset this shit job of a person.

Sometimes I think about where my life would end. I might end up lying in a ditch somewhere with nobody giving a rat’s ass about me. It’s quite a scary thought considering I’m sitting in a comfortable swivel chair, my cup of pure organic grapefruit, orange, apple, pineapple, tomato, dragon fruit, whatever fruit juice, my handphone in front of me, a pair of earphones on my head listening to American Hi-fi, typing on my Acer. To imagine how far I can fall is quite scary considering that it is possible. When you get used to this kind of comfort, you have so much to lose. The tragedy is that, I don’t realize that. I always think that I’ll remain whatever age I am. Ah well, the world needs more losers. Especially since Vladmir Putin made wealthiest man in Europe. The world can afford a couple more losers.

Below is a really nice picture I took at Bishan Park not too long ago. It was just after the rain and the picture was just itching to be taken. Not many people know how to stop and smell the roses nowadays. Much beauty goes overlooked these days. The picture quality isn’t very good, but your mind always sees things in HD anyway.